I just found out that a whole bunch of my dad's relatives are flying in from one place or another to spend Christmas here. I don't mind and all, I just hope that they aren't all planning on staying at my house. I knew that my cousin was coming and everything, but I didn't know that he was bringing his family too, or that my other cousin would be visiting as well with her family. I know that are house is big and everything but my sisters and me we value our privacy and don't really want to share our rooms with anyone, sounds selfish I know, but that's the way we feel.
I hope that they don't make any comments about my weight, saying that I'm getting skinnier, and that I need to eat more. I get that enough from my own family.

We put up our Christmas tree the other day, we'll actually, two of my sisters did, since I was sleeping and my other sister was out. My mother had me fix it to her specifications though, it took me three hours to get to the way that she liked it. First, she told me that the ornaments were too cluttered, and so of course I moved them around and got rid of some of them. I made sure that the colors were being spread apart too, cause that was one of the main problems with the way my sisters did it. Then, my mom tells me that there aren't enough ornaments. So I add more, when I asked her what part needs to have more ornaments, she randomly point at the tree expecting me to know where she thought that the ornament should go. Needless, to say my mother is a dictator when it comes to decorating the Christmas tree, and I can see why my sisters were so frustrated with her when they were doing it. Anyway, the point is, the Christmas tree is finally up, and now we're all talking about what to get each other for Christmas.

My aunt has officially moved in with us again. Needless, to say she has been getting on my nerves, by nagging me about every little thing. Not to mention the other day she spent the entire day settling into her room, and she was playing really loud Christmas songs. Now, normally I don't mind listening to Christmas songs and everything, but having to listen to them for the entire day tends to annoy you rather than put in the 'Christmas Spirit.'

Speaking of which, my parents bought the Christmas tree last night. It's much smaller than the one that they bought last year. We have yet to start decorating it, cause two of my sisters are busy writing reports for their finals, and my other sister is sick. So we're probably going to do it sometime tonight. I just hope that this time that they color coordinate the ornaments and everything. Last time there was an overkill of red that it overpowered everything else, it took me hours to fix it. Maybe I'll take a picture of it later and post it up here.

It's been awhile since I've updated my journal, or at least it seems like it. First and foremost, wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I've been asking my friends what they were going to be doing on Thanksgiving, it seems that they all have plans with their families. Me, on the other hand, I don't know what we're going to be doing. I asked my mother, she doesn't even know what we're going to do. I thought that we might be going to my uncle's house, or that they might be coming here. But, either way I would like to know, cause my friends have invited me to go to their Thanksgiving if I don't have any plans with my family and such.

This picture was taken on my 23rd birthday at my birthday dinner last month.


Friend's Halloween party.


Halloween at friend's house.




As you can tell I had a lot of fun.

I can't believe Halloween is coming up soon. I have to find a costume for my friend's Halloween party. I wonder what I should go as, or who I should go as? I was thinking of doing a masquerade kind of thing. My other friend is also throwing a little Halloween get-together, but she has a theme all planned out already. Her's is going to be an 80's theme, and I already have most of my costume done, I just need to buy the stocking/tights, and I'm all set. I'll take a picture of it and maybe I'll post it up here.

Today is my birthday, but it has brought me nothing but stress so far. I've had to listen to my sisters fight with either one of my parents or both of them. I don't understand why they keep fighting so much, they're even fighting right now, about my sister getting home late, even though I told them that she would be home late. I don't think that I'll be able to enjoy my birthday with my family. My friend shave a better chance of getting me to feel happy that it is my birthday.

I went to my cousin's birthday party yesterday, and there my sister's kept on pushing me that I should inform them that it was my birthday today so that I could get money from them. I played dumb as if I didn't understand what they were saying because I already that they forgot my birthday again this year. I didn't want to have my suspicions confirmed that they didn't remember my birthday, but that decision was taken out of my hands. My sisters had just announced to my relatives that it was my birthday today, when they were asking if any of us were legal to drink, although I had been legal for the past to years. My aunt was surprised, she wanted to know, how she could have missed my birthday for so many years. I didn't tell her, that I would always tell her when my birthday was when she would ask, and she has known me since I was seven years old. You would think that after so many years of knowing each other that they would remember my birthday, although I don't really blame them. As my aunt pointed out, my family never really celebrated my birthday. I think that this is the first year that I'll actually be celebrating with them, but I didn't want to be when there was tension between my family members. I guess that there is nothing that I could do about it, but I will try to enjoy myself, that the only thing that I can do. I just hope that I can do it.

My friends' pj party was pretty fun. It started out kind of slow though with only a few of us being there. Afterwards, though more people started to show up, and we played a game called "King's Cup," for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a drinking game, but don't worry we substituted the alcohol with soda. Most of the time we spent talking, eating nachos and chili dogs, and we also spent time watching a movie during the beginning. It was good to see some of my old friends again.

I was actually surprised that they remembered my birthday next month. I didn't expect them to remember it at all since last year they seemed to have the hardest time remembering it. I don't know why but they did, so it came as a shock to me when my friend was the first one to bring up my birthday next month. I wasn't planning on telling them anything until I was sure about what I wanted to do for my birthday. I want to go out to eat for my birthday, and then perhaps go shopping afterwards you know. So I basically have the places that I want to go to for my birthday narrowed down to three specific places. The only question is though, will they go. I know that they might not have money, like they did last year, despite the fact that I informed them a month beforehand that they should save their money for my birthday, cause I plan on going out that day, they didn't have enough money to go Karaoke like I wanted to do for my birthday. I had it all planned out and everything, and then a week before my birthday they tell me that they don't have enough money so I changed all of plans to suit their needs and instead of doing Karaoke I decided we'll just go out to eat. You know what happened though, it turns out that they spent more money on dinner and a movie than they would have if we had gone to Karaoke like I had originally wanted. They knew how much it would have cost too, I told them how much it would cost to do Karaoke with all of us. I think that's what pissed me off the most when I thought about it later. I was being considerate towards them on my birthday because of a lie. Anyway I decided that this year I'm going to do what I want to do for my birthday, and if they don't go than they don't go. I am not going to spend my birthday thinking about things that they would want to do. I mean it's my birthday, it's the one day out of the year that I am allowed to be selfish, and just think of myself.

My sister bought me this Ume Chōchin. She said that it was an early birthday gift. It was really sweet of her, and I absolutely love it! It's hanging in my room right now. I even went and found the higasa(Japanese parasol) that my friend bought me for my birthday years ago.

I am having trouble trying to find these songs in mp3 format by Kappei Yamaguchi. It's been driving me nuts, but I can't seem to find them wherever I look. I was hoping that someone out there might be able to help me. Here are the songs:

1. Kurenai no Rondo sung w/Daisuke Ono (Neo Angelique ~ Romantic Gift)
2. Urei no Shiro (Neo Angelique ~My First Lady~)
3. I Pray ~Kaze ni Nosete~ (Neo Angelique Abyss Character Songs)
4. Max Wind (Eyeshield 21)

If anyone out there can help me, it would be much appreciated. Thanks.

The other day was my youngest sister's birthday, she turned 20 years old. I expected her to have some kind of plans with her friends during the day or something since she took the day off from work especially because it was her bday, but I guess they were busy or something. Maybe they'll do something at a later date, I certainly hope so cause it would just be sad if they didn't, it sucks feeling like you don't matter, especially on your birthday. I've been there.
Anyway, the family did celebrate her birthday though. We ended up going to this Italian restaurant over by Horton Plaza. My uncle Otie even came, although I think it was just because he just happened to be in the area. I still don't understand what he was doing there though, but he ended up coming with us. The more the merrier I say. I had fun, the only downside was that for some reason I felt like everyone was trying to get me to eat more, it could be just because earlier that day my dad was lecturing me about having to eat, cause he doesn't think that I do, my sister even agreed with him. Other than that I had a blast, we even went to an ice cream parlor, and then went to Urban Outfitters, and stayed there for a while, until my mother's complaining became too much. I had fun there and I do wish to go back someday.

Don't let the subject mislead, and think that I'm the one that suffered from a kidney infection, it was my younger sister. About two weeks ago she was having really bad back pains in the kidney area, and for her it was a major annoyance since she couldn't move without it hurting. She was taken to the ER and my other sisters and me didn't even know that anything was wrong until she got home later that day, and she told us what happened. She was on antibiotics for awhile, but she had to switch today, because for some reason she had an allergic reaction to it. She broke out into hives. She's doing better now, but I still don't understand her desire to go to school first before going to the hospital and having everything checked out first. I mean health should come before education in some cases.

My sister's birthday is next month. I don't know what the heck we're going to do, but whatever it is I hope that it doesn't end up like my mother's birthday. I already asked her what she wanted to do, but she doesn't have any idea yet. Turns out that my other sister also scheduled her dentist appointment on the same day too, so if we're all going to be there to celebrate we're going to have to do it for dinner. I wonder if this time my aunt Lita is going to go.

Anyway, nothing else much to report, other than that I've been doing a lot more reading lately instead of watching television. The only thing that I watch daily is my mother's tagalog dramas and that's because I'm trying to make the effort into learning at least some of the language, although I think that my mother is getting tired of me asking her to translate. I can't help it, I don't understand the language.

It was my mother's 58th birthday the other day. We decided that we were going to go out to dinner to celebrate and everything. My auntie Lita even showed up, and my sisters and me all wore dresses. That's a really big deal for me, I never wear dresses! Anyway we spent like 20 minutes trying to decide on where to go, and when we do we find out that the wait is at least an 1hr-1 hr and 15 mins. We didn't want to wait that long so we went to the restaurant across the street, but as soon as we walked in there I could already tell by the look on my mother's face that she wasn't going to like it, it only got worse when she looked at the menu, needless to say we left immediately afterwards. We spent another 20 minutes in the car trying to decide on where to go, and my mother wasn't helping any, she kept on changing her mind, and when she finally did settle on a place she kept on suggesting other restaurants on the way there. It was frustrating but amusing at the same time. By the time we got there, we had already wasted most of my sister's gas, because of all the driving around that she had to do.

You know I just found out that a friend of mine just created a myspace account for me without even asking me if I wanted one. Her reasoning was that it would be easier for her to contact me, but I mean she already has my email address, she knows where I live, she has both my home and cell phone number! How much easier can it get?!

Anyway, yesterday my mother and my younger sister were arguing because my mother wouldn't let her sleepover at her friend's house even though the rest of us already have at a younger age. I mean I slept over at my friend's house during prom, and then a couple of years ago I spent the night at a friend's house for New Year's and the year before that we all went and spent New Year's at a hotel. So I really couldn't see my mother's logic in not letting my sister go, I mean even my youngest sister spent the night at a friend's once before. Maybe parents have a different set of rules for each kid, but if that's the case it's completely unfair, or maybe my mother is just trying to retains some control over our lives? I have no idea, and I probably never will, I mean I'm not a mother, so until I become one I might never understand my own mother's reasoning.

It's been awhile since I last updated, I think about two weeks or something. I guess I haven't been in the mood to come here lately. I found out a few days ago that my uncle Edwin is in the hospital because he had a brain aneurysm earlier. Last I heard from my mother was that he was still in a coma, and that while he does show some signs of actually understanding what's going on around him like lifting up his hand when he's told that they're going out somewhere, they believe that it's just reflexes. My aunt Vivian did the same two years ago when she had her brain aneurysm so I'm inclined to believe that it really just is his reflexes. I was also told that he would be just like her too. In other words he'll most likely be paralyzed, not able to to speak, or walk, and memory loss. I remember what my mother said once to describe the condition that my aunt Vivian is in, she said she was just like a baby, and I guess in this case my uncle will be like that too. He was supposed to have surgery, but it was too late, the damage had already been done.

I guess I should be thankful that he's alive, but watching my aunt Vivian for these past two years makes me wonder if they would have preferred to die instead. I mean they aren't able to speak or do anything for themselves. My aunt has to be fed, and she is physically incapable of doing anything by herself, such as taking a shower, or going to the bathroom, and a lot of other little things. It makes me wonder what kind of life is that? I was talking to my friend on the phone not long after finding out about my uncle and I had asked her if she were to become something akin to a vegetable would she want to keep on living or would she rather die? I wonder if my aunt or uncle had any of those talks before this happened. Sometimes I think that keeping them alive was selfish on our part because we were the ones that were unwilling to let them go, even if that was what they would have wanted, now I guess we'll never really know for sure.

The other day we had a blackout for about three hours or so. I was supposed to go to a bonfire with my friends, but I also had to do the laundry before going, but because of the blackout everything went behind schedule and I wasn't able to go.

Turns out that they had called the morning of the blackout to tell us that they were going to be doing some work in the area and that the blackout would last only a couple of hours. I still say that they should have called the day before, you know give us a little more notice. I was so looking forward to spending some time with my friends, but there's nothing that I can do about it now.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, mostly fanfiction on the net and stuff. My mother always did say that I spent more time reading than doing anything else, she was never able to understand how I could just sit and read a book for hours on end. I just find myself so engrossed in the stories, and I even yell out random things while I'm reading, especially when I think that a character is being especially stupid.

My mother is talking about going somewhere for Father's Day. The problem is actually ensuring that the father is there to celebrate. We don't know where we're going yet, but I think that we should let my dad choose, I mean it is his day, but to do that first we would actually have to tell him that we're planning on celebrating Father's Day this year. It would be such a waste to celebrate Father's Day if he wasn't there, or happy with what we're doing.

Anyway I guess that's it! Ja ne!

I am totally tired right now. Anyway, I just finished taking my geology final, and I only have two more to go before I'm done. I can't wait. I can't believe that my younger sister had the nerve to watch tv last night at 3 am in the morning, and then have the audacity to laugh so loudly that it kept me up.

I had fun on Saturday. It wasn't the disaster that I thought that it would be. I know that I may have been exaggerating a bit, but still these are my friends, and I don't want anything to ruin one of their big days. I just hope that one day that they could at least patch up the rift between them, I know that it's a long shot but still I can hope.

I can't believe that school is already almost over. I mean next week are finals, I already have half of my ASL final done. My teacher divided the final into two parts, one is an oral presentation, which I already did, and the second part is the written exam, which is next Thursday. I have to study for all of my classes, so I figured that I should use up all of my downtime while I can.

My friend invited me to her place this weekend to celebrate her graduating. I'm kind of worried, cause I know that one of my friends that might be going doesn't really get along with the others. I told a friend of mine earlier on the the phone that I would go, if only to make sure that our other friends didn't kill each other. I'm kind of already picturing the thing to be disastrous, but I am hoping that they could just put aside their differences and problems for awhile cause we're supposed to be celebrating for a common friend of ours. Seriously, I hate all this drama between friends and whatnot. I just wish that they would get over themselves and actually talk about their issues with each other.

Yesterday wasn't too bad. I can't believe that's it been two years since my older brother passed away. Time seems to be flying by so quickly these days. I spent yesterday with my sisters and mother. I don't know where my dad was, cause he wasn't home even though he doesn't work on Wednesdays. I thought that he would at least go to the cemetary to visit my brother, but I don't think that he went. I'm not even sure if he remembered, but it would be totally sad if he didn't.

Anyway, yesterday my youngest sister, Abby, took ridiculous pictures of my mother and the rest of us at the cemetary. My mother looked so funny wearing my sister's hair clip. I have to say that it isn't really her style. We stayed at the cemetary for an hour or so before we went home to meet my older sister, and go out for dinner.

This is where things get funny, see, my sisters decided to go get gas while waiting for my other sister to get home from work. While I was getting the mail my mother decided that she was going to eat the left over shrimp from the day before, so she went to go warm it, while I was getting the mail. While I was out, apparently my mother was talking on her cell outside, that she forgot about the shrimps on the stove. By the time that I got home, the door was open, and so were all the windows, and there was the smell of burnt food wafting down the driveway of our house. Needless to say that she burned those poor shrimps to a crisp. It was a good thing that we had already decided that we were going to eat out. I kept on coughing because of the smoke, that's how bad it was.

When my sisters finally got home, we went out to eat at the mall where they have this huge food court, and we would be able to eat whatever we wanted. I was the only one that ended up getting something that was healthy, meaning that I decided that I was going to eat a salad. All my sisters decided to eat something greasy and fried, even my mother did. They claimed that I was making them feel fat. But they were the ones that decided to eat those kinds of foods, not me, so it's really their own fault. They even said that it was weird that I liked to eat vegetables and stuff, and that if I wanted to I wouldn't have a problem becoming a vegetarian.

By the time that we got home, the house still smelled like burnt shrimps. My mother didn't even wash the pot that she burnt them in. She left that for little ole me to do that. It took me forever to wash the charred black shrimps off the pot.